Swimmers
by Lrnd
Summary: Fluffy. LoVe. MacDick. Veronica and Logan get some interesting news. Some cursing and sexual implications like where do babies come from.


Disclaimer: I own nothing.

A/N: I made this all up. The name of the condom, the medical crap, etc.

Logan was really worried about Veronica. She was currently worshipping the White Throne without the benefit of having gotten really trashed last night.

"Veronica I really think you should go see the doctor." Logan heard nothing. "Veronica?" He saw her lying on the floor passed out.

"Veronica!" He rushed over and felt her forehead. She was burning up. Why was he such a bad boyfriend? He should have insisted she go to the doctor the first time she started throwing up. He carefully picked her up and brought her to his car where he seat belted her in. She was so little and fragile when unconscious. Logan sighed and petted her hair as he belted himself in. He loved her so much, but he had to admit it was easier to be affectionate with her when she was out cold than when she was awake and biting.

He drove as quickly as he could to the hospital and checked her in. Even though the Echolls name was tarnished, it was still powerful and Veronica got bumped to the very top of the list.

He wondered whether or not he should call Keith. Logan knew that Keith would drop whatever bail jumper he was chasing, but then did he want Keith to know that Veronica had slept over which is why she was dying in his bathroom at 7AM. Then it would be convenient that Logan was in a hospital waiting for Veronica because he was fairly sure that Keith would shoot him. Always good to have doctors on hand when you are about to be shot for stealing Veronica's virtue.

He paced in the waiting room. What to do? What to do? And why wasn't Veronica awake yet? And it was like he was psychic because just then the Nurse came in and asked if he would like to come in. Of course Logan wanted to go in and see his gorgeous pixie of a girlfriend and he hovered over Veronica, tucking her in and kissing her forehead with worry.

"Logan, geez stop worrying, I think I've got the flu or some kind of stomach bug or something. Stop worrying."

"Veronica, you passed out!"

"So, you pass out all the time."

"I have good reason."

"Alcohol is not a good reason, that's just an excuse."

At that moment, Veronica's doctor came in and said, "I just finished the tests and everything looks okay. Just a bit of the stomach flu and the pregnancy also looks like its coming along well and the baby hasn't been affected at all."

Both Logan and Veronica's mouth dropped. Veronica leaped out of the bed and grabbed the doctor's lapels.

"You take that back right now!! I am not pregnant!! I'm on the pill and we use protection every single fucking time. Take. It. Back. Takeitback. Takeitback. Takeitback." Veronica may be small but she is certainly fierce and she was shaking the doctor like a terrier worrying a bone.

Logan had to bodily lift Veronica away from the doctor and he nodded apologetically to him.

The doctor looked well shaken because after all, Veronica is nothing if not thorough.

"I'm sorry if the news is a surprise, but I assumed you knew considering you are about 2 months along."

Logan suddenly exclaimed, "I thought you had gained some weight!" Upon realizing that he had said the words of doom for boyfriends everywhere, he tried to deflect his stupidity onto the doctor.

"How did this happen? Veronica is right, we are always careful. How can she be pregnant? Is that why she passed out?"

The doctor looked at Veronica who was still trapped in Logan's arms for the safety of everyone involved. She looked more complacent and calm but the death glares shooting from her eyes were not comforting in the least.

The doctor then asked, "what condom brand do you use?" For Logan and Veronica, the question seemed irrelevant, but replied Shield. The doctor then turned on the television and flipped through a couple of news stations until happening upon one where the bottom read "Shield now being slapped with several class action suits. Nation to experience the next baby boom. News at 11."

"Haven't you been following the news?"

Logan had a ready reply for this question.

"We're college students. Our finals just ended a week ago. We've been in a complete bubble."

"Ahhh well here is a quick summary. One of those crazy anti-contraceptives people snuck into a condom making factory and somehow switched the regular condom material that prevents pregnancy into one that basically allows all those swimmers in. He'd been doing it for months until he got caught"

"But that doesn't explain why the Pill didn't work." Veronica asked who had been _very_ careful especially since Logan was so hot and she could barely keep her paws off him.

"Well," the doctor continued, "apparently he also sprinkled crushed fertility drugs onto the condom that increases fertility in women and counteracts the effect of the Pill. Actually it's surprising you aren't further along and carrying quints."

"And to answer your earlier question, in part Veronica passed out because of the pregnancy. The stomach flu and her continuous vomiting dehydrated her severely and carrying a child is no easy thing." Logan clutched Veronica's hand as the doctor exited the room to let them ponder the bomb he had dropped.

Veronica looked at Logan, "My dad is going to know we had sex. Do you think he will believe immaculate conception?"

"Your dad is going to know we had sex and you will be a single mother because he will have shot me several times." Logan shuddered and thanked God that he didn't call Keith because then they would have to tell him sooner.

"Veronica, I love you and I was planning on waiting until next summer to ask you, but will you marry me? I always wanted you to be the mother of my children, well not this soon, but please consider it."

"When I say yes, that doesn't let you off the hook for calling me fat you know. Now you really have to buy me a pony."


End file.
